keep my first "i love you"

keep my last "i love you"

Back with some more college heartbreak - that underdeveloped brain was HARD AT WORK creatively writing!

prince charming

once upon a time,
our story begins.

i can point to a calendar date
when we first started.
after day one, however,
our tale grows muddled.

was that us?
or just a retelling
of a chapter i already lived?
and when, i ask,
does our story end?
the first two times we broke up?
more accurately,
the first two times you left me?

when you came back?
i shouldn't have replied,
but you played me with an ace
slid up your sleeve.
our story should have ended there.
or when you told me i'm needy
because i don't want to date someone
who can't keep promises?

we don't end then - 
you texted me weeks later,
asking for friendship.
i may choose bad dates,
but i have higher standards
for friends, like people who,
at least once in a while,
prioritize my best interests
over their worst impulses.
so no, we cannot
"be cool...like friends."

in fact,
now is a good time
for our story to end.

keep my first "i love you"
like a fragile flower petal
pressed in a book of love poems
and i'll keep your shirts
out of spite
until i downsize my closet
or replaces yours with someone else's shirts
that they, too, swear all look better on me.

keep my last "i love you"
like a sour taste
eroding the back of your throat
after a night hugging the toilet
and i'll keep your insults
like throwing knives in my back
until the wounds stop bleeding
and i extract them
to defend myself.

you're not the hero of this story.

me?
i'm the happily ever after.